Jul 1, 2012

One of Those Nights

It is one of those nights. I hate them, but it seems lately they are piling up. I feel my connections have been severed and I am too weak to know how to reconnect. I question who I am and my relevance. I am not sure if I should call it self pity or just call it lost.

I usually don't share in such a raw way. My personal emotions are channeled through my poetry and I don't openly say, "Hey, I am hurting like hell. Does anyone hear me?" I will do like I always do think of others who have it much worse and put on that stiff upper lip and rally. I will won't I?


I still have my diary from when I was a teenager...it was mostly, "I am too fat" and "I wish I had a boyfriend." I wish I could go back and tell that silly me that life would get so much harder so hold on tight to that roller coaster.

I better call it a night or I should say morning. I need to rest up for that pep talk I need to give myself tomorrow.

7 comments:

  1. Susie...
    I cant speak to what is bothering you but I understand hurting and feeling disconnected. you can always say hi to me or hit me up on facebook...even when life is hard life has much beauty!

    Wander

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    1. Thank you Chris. I don't usually share I am in pain in such a public manner, but last night I just had to speak it. I am doing better today..working through it.

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  2. Some transitions are SO HARD. I feel empathy for where you were last night. Sometimes it helps to know that there are others who are very interested in you and how you are doing. Other times it may be to personal for that to matter so much. Whichever it is I wish you the best in working through. As they said in the old school "Hang in there" The pendulum is always swinging.

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    1. Thank you Ellecee. I have been through that pendulum swing so many times..Just never express it so openly when I am in the middle of it. I am doing better.

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  3. WISHING YOU PEACE WITH THE STRUGGLES YOU ARE FACING AND GOING THROUGH, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND WORTHY OF SO MUCH MORE THEN THESE ATTACKS OF THE ENEMY THAT LIES WITHIN. HANG IN THERE AND LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS WE ARE HERE TO LIFT YOU UP :))

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    1. Thank you so much Janice. Your words mean a lot. I know I will get better with each new day.

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  4. susie this is a good and honest post. sometimes the wee hours
    will take their measure of flesh.
    i'm sure you are being to hard on yourself: you are needed in
    society and have a purpose, sweet poet.

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