I watched this video and was immediately transformed into a child. I lost my mother seven years ago and with her passing I could not stop the little girl in my heart from crying for her mama. It didn’t matter
I was an adult woman with grown children of my own. When I stood by her bed and watched her take her final breath all I could do was weep and say mama.
About a week after my mother died I was home and had just completed my morning walk. When I entered the cul de sac across from my house it was filled with the scent of flowers. It was November and though it was warm in Texas where I lived nothing was blooming. It felt like I was inhaling a thousand bouquets. I turned a complete circle and knew a natural reason was impossible. Without a doubt I know it was a gift from my mother. She loved flowers, but with her allergies she could never have them in the house. It was her way of telling me she saw my broken heart and was sending me comfort. She now remembered me because her memory had been stolen in life by Alzheimer’s.
It is no surprise that my muse would send me a poem in the voice of a child. I listened and wrote down her words.
When You Find Me
Mama, where is heaven?
Everyone told me you went there.
How can that be?
I saw them put you in the ground.
If I could fly, could I go to you?
I haven’t wings, but if I wish hard enough
won’t the angels make them for me?
I know. If I go to sleep you will whisper to me.
You told me secrets can’t come
when my eyes are open.
Mama, I see the moon. You must be there.
Daddy said you loved to walk in the moonlight.
I am sure you can see our house with its light
and can find your way home.
Daddy was just here and we said our prayers.
I am closing my eyes tight so I can fall asleep fast.
I will be a good girl and tucked in my sheets when you find me.
©Susie Clevenger 2012