Aug 19, 2011

Pondering Poe

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
 over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore" ~ The Raven~ Edgar Allan Poe





I remember when I first read Edgar Allan Poe. I became fascinated. His dark poetry struck the dark chords within me. It seemed I identified with the pain I felt in his writing. His poems joined with my own haunted persona. Secrets rapped against my peace with the fear of what their revelation might bring. Poe somehow gave me a voice.

I began writing poetry because of my love of Poe. I could use verses to express what my lips feared speaking. Dark night and the moon were often my companions as I lay not sleeping. It was a perfect cauldron to stir my imagination.

My first poem to ever gain any notice was one I titled Nightfall. It was written from the darkness of sexual abuse. I had been hiding the secret for years. I had written the poem and placed it in an English folder for my freshman English class. I had meant to remove it, but I forgot and it was included with my outline of Julius Caesar. My teacher, Mrs. Kilgore, asked me if I had written it. When I told her that I had in fact penned it, she asked if she could have it. She wanted to submit it to a publication titled "Missouri Youth Writes."  She submitted it and it was later published. I was so proud.

That poem began what I term "my pencil therapy." I was able to write out some of the darkness in me. I still hadn't revealed my painful secret to anyone, but having a voice for the pain granted me some freedom. I think,   no I know, writing saved my life. When things became too dark for me, I sought the light of my pen.

Yes it seems Poe was my super hero, my savior. He gave me courage to speak and poetry became my voice. So many refer to his darkness. I can testify of the illumination he gave to my spirit. I shall be forever grateful for the writings of Edgar Allan Poe.



Nightfall

As the curtain falls
On the world’s idiocy
You will find me sitting
In the audience not asking
For nor wanting an encore
I sit for a few moments
While the curtain of darkness
Envelops me then I run for
An exit that will take me
Away from everything
That resembles reality

The darkness extends
Its soft beautiful hand
And leads me into a
World where I don’t have
Any questions and I seek no solutions

The velvety curtain protects
Me from evil until it has
To leave me and rise on the world again
But with the first signs of the inevitable dawn
I cower in my corner and
Try not to see the world
That’s revolving around me

I wait until it is time for
The curtain to fall and I know
The darkness will take me
Once again into a world of unreality


©Carol Crouch (Susie Clevenger)









2 comments:

  1. this guy is one of my favorites, i posted something by him not too long ago on my blog romance.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is good stuff. You have every reason to be proud of it. I particularly like the opening five lines.

    ReplyDelete